7 Things Sunday

One. My sister was offered a big girl job with Laura Geller Cosmetics in Columbia, South Carolina. She’s trying very hard to convince me to move there with her. Hmmmm ūüėČ I’m sad that she’s leaving Colorado, but I’m proud of her and excited for this new adventure! Way to go, Madison.

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Two. I wrote about the #KnowJustice project a couple months ago when I was working at ArtForceIowa. The Des Moines Register published this article, highlighting a little bit of what is happening with #KnowJustice and some other exciting arts events in Iowa that have to do with race and justice. I can’t wait to see what comes out of this workshop.

Three. This week my grandpa was in the hospital for a heart procedure that ended up not happening. They ended up needing to¬†start him on a new medication that required monitoring him in hospital for several days. I spent a few of those days¬†hanging out with family in his room¬†and keeping grandma company over night. She¬†kept telling grandpa, “I kind of love you a lot” and giving him kisses. And then at one point when he was getting an EKG he told the nurses he wanted grandma to come over and give him a kiss while they were scanning him so that he could see what it did to his heart. Seriously?! Stop. it. I can’t handle that kind of adorableness. #lifegoals.

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They make my heart explode.

Four. I’ve now reached 6 months into my job search. If P.O.D can get nominated for a Grammy three times, I feel like I should be able to land a job in my field, you know? Sometimes life is cruel and unfair. But there are a few applications I’m feeling fairly optimistic about. Fingers crossed. Toes crossed. Everything crossed. Waiting is hard. Staying really proactive in the waiting is even harder. But I know that life happens between point A and point B. I will always be waiting for something, so I should learn to love what happens while I wait.

Five. ¬†I think you have to be very close to someone in order to have the green light to go off on them when they’re being dumb. In my opinion, you have to approach these situations from a place of, “I could be wrong, but…”¬†but still… I respect and appreciate the hard blow of redirection when it comes from a loving place. And it rarely comes. Most of my friends are listeners. They ask good questions. They’re comforting. But sometimes being a true friend isn’t just blindly agreeing, standing in solidarity, or waiting to see what happens. It’s coming alongside,¬†telling them their eyes are closed, and shouting out what it is you see. The other night I was telling one of my best friends about something that happened recently, and they just went off on me and got upset. But I understood they weren’t upset¬†at¬†me or¬†with¬†me,¬†but¬†for¬†me. And I needed that. I needed to have my motives challenged and my actions questioned so I could figure out how to either defend myself or realize I was wrong. I needed to hear the perspective that wasn’t “I understand,” but rather, “I don’t understand what you’re thinking or doing. This is¬†insane and f-ed up and you need to ___ because I love you and I hate seeing ___.” I need to be better at this as a friend, too. It’s a delicate balance and a thin line because when are you being a good friend and when are you just being an ass? BUT, is it not completely worth figuring out how to do gracefully?

Six. This is awesome.¬†And then Frieda told them about love…

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Seven.¬†I was in a yoga class this week where the instructor played this song during savasana and I legit shed a few tears. It’s like a musical security blanket. I will not apologize for kind of really loving The Fray.

Love,

Taylor

Chitta Vritti

Chitta Vritti is the Sanksrit term for “mind chatter”.

Yesterday, this was brought up during my yoga class. I sat on my mat, eyes closed, “hands at heart center”, and I listened to something like this…

Acknowledge or become aware of its presence. The constant flow of thoughts speeding through your mind. Noticing the ones that flee after only a moment, and then ones that circle around over and over again. 

Accept that this is where you live most of the time- in your head. Accept that you are often cut off from joy because of this mental dialogue that can be so full of doubts, judgements, and endlessness. 

And then…quiet. Be present in¬†this¬†moment. Not who you were 30 seconds ago. Not who you’re going to be in an hour from now. You are whole and enough in¬†this¬†moment. Our thoughts and emotions are with us, they never go anywhere, but we can learn to quiet them. To practice stillness. To not let the chitta vritti conquer us.

Stillness can be scary. Its scary how difficult it is to get there. There is something alarming about the way your mind will unfold if you let it. If you stop the distraction and noise and truly enter in. For me, it is often associated with confusion and loneliness. But I am learning that it is okay for me to be still in the loneliness. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, maybe more. Maybe there is something waiting for me there. Maybe it isn’t so scary after all. Maybe it’s a gift that I can give myself and at times is given to me.¬†

I unintentionally get so wrapped up in the to-do lists of life that I forget to practice freedom.

I get so wrapped up in the values and “rules” that are ingrained in me that I forget to reflect and grow by questioning them.¬†

I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forget to notice what is going on around me.

I get so wrapped up in knowing and seeing the counterfeit connections of media that I crave real relationship- real touch. 

I can get so wrapped up in the loving of others and forget that if I’m not loving of myself first, the quality of my love for others is certainly not at its best.¬†

What does your mind chatter keep you from being aware of? What does stillness have for you? 

Love, 

Taylor

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