Selfie Nation

For all intents and purposes this is not meant to be offensive. Have a sense of humor.

I have grown up in the boom of social media. From the mirror pictures of Myspace to the filtered foods of Instagram, I have been there done that. I get it. 

I get that I live in a culture that looooooves to post pictures of themselves. I mean, the average American has at some point (myself included) spent at least fifteen minutes of their day taking sixty pictures of themselves in front of the bathroom lights or in the car trying to get the perfect one to post. And then they wait for the “likes” to roll in. I guess we’re all slightly neurotic and need  the digital validation of others. Whatever. But hey, people, I shouldn’t see your face more than the person I live with on a daily basis without having any physical interaction with you. And if you come to mind, the first thing I think of shouldn’t be the rate at which you pose for your camera phone. 

But what really gets me is the selfie captions. The following are adaptions of real selfie captions:


Caption: Had such a great time with my family and friends today. So blessed. 

(Awesome. Then why aren’t you posting a picture of your friends and family? Why am I looking at you?!)


Caption: Making pizza and staying in for movie night.

(Cool. Can I see you shoving that pizza in your mouth instead of smiling creepily at me?)


Caption: On my way to work!

(I really hope you’re not driving and taking pictures of yourself at the same time. What would you say if you got in an accident? I guess if you died, at least everyone would see your face of death/you face death) 


Caption: Mini skirt Monday

(What? There is no such thing. You made that up.)


Caption: 75 minute work out. 30 minute run. 50 squats. 100 crunches. Feeling fit.

(I mean, you’re right, everyone loves seeing your sweat. So inspiring. But this is an important public announcement because…?)

So selfiers- no more self deprecation! You have the ability to tell your followers important things with that face of yours. If you’re going to the trouble of posting those selfies, let your face bare a valuable message about what is happening in the world around us. Things like:

33 Chilean miners found trapped but alive
The number of people fleeing the conflict in Syria has reached 1 million
Due to global warming, arctic shipping routes are now open
Hugo Chavez died