At The Moment

I am…

Suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome. Being an adult + the arrival of Summer = severe symptoms.

You start growing up accustomed to this work hard/play hard cycle of school life and then all of the sudden you’re in a NO BREAK EVER life. What?! Who approved this?

Can’t I just not reply to work emails for three months and then come back in September and pick up where I left off?

Remember the glorious adrenaline of the last day of school? It signified the arrival of the freedom months. It meant full days spent at the pool with your best friend, ingesting an ungodly amount of freezer pops. It meant mischievously prank calling boys who still had little girl voices, sprinklers and water guns, turning three shades darker without even trying, multiple sleepovers a week, eating tubs of raw cookie dough with Doritos and frozen pizza (metabolism…what’s that?), sweaty hand holding, building rafts at the beach, wearing a swimsuit 3/4ths of the day, road trips to thrilling places like Adventureland, and living completely unconcerned about what time you had to wake up in the morning.

Now Summer means sitting at a desk all day praying to God the office AC doesn’t break. It means forcing yourself to be productive when all you want to do is float down a river inside of an inflatable donut or take a nap in a hammock. It means still setting your alarm, still getting dressed, still paying bills, still feeling worthless after a workday, etc.

I’m not saying Summers aren’t fun anymore. They’re still the best. But you never get back those few months of blissful, ignorant, youthful freedom. And that is a tragedy. RUUUFIIOOO.

Grateful for friendships near and far. I think something unique happens when people become friends because the universe brought them together in another country, for a specific amount of time, to experience something intense and out of the ordinary together. I’m not exactly sure why, but for me at least, there is a pull to keep those people close. Maybe because they’re my only few ties to a life altering experience. Maybe because we lived in places and spaces where all we could do was talk. For hours, days, months. My friend Melissande and I have been in a season of communicating frequently. It’s been 5 years since we were aimlessly wandering the streets of Morocco, but we’ve continued to share life over Skype and through cards/packages. My friend Sarah, who I met in YWAM, asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding this Summer- yeaaahhh! I’ve stayed in touch with the three people I interned with in Uganda, visiting and checking in with each other. Each one of them has really been there for me lately, even if we’re oceans apart. It means a lot. And I’m constantly blessed and amazed by the friends I have surrounding me every day. I don’t know why or how I got so lucky. As cliche as it sounds, they make me a better person and I would be in a far darker place right now if it weren’t for their love and zeal for life. So thank you (you all know who you are). A million times. Thank you.

All about the little victories When you find yourself challenged beyond what you thought you were capable of, the small victories become all the more precious. Stress and worry have tried to swallow me whole the past few months, but there is one victory I have been relishing in: the absence of self-doubt. I believe in myself. Don’t ask me why the realization of that comes as a bit of a surprise. But I’m proud of myself. I know that I am capable. Of reaching new levels of health. Of obtaining my dreams. Of saying no. Of great love. Of conquering fear. Of gracefully embracing change. Of deeper faith. I’ve got this. Breathe. Keep your eyes open, your chin up, and your heart full.





Birthday Love

Happy Birthday to the beautiful Kim Hensley! Like seriously…look at that picture!! She is absolutely radiant. All. The. Time. Last night I had the privilege of celebrating the life of this lady. We went to see Peter Pan at The Des Moines Playhouse. We sat in the second row. We laughed, we believed in fairies, we ate ice cream sandwiches. It was fantastic. Everyone should go see it, especially if you have little ones. Then we cuddled up in my apartment for some fancy liquor our friend Emily brought home from Scotland and chatted late into the night.

Kim is someone who consistently oozes joy. I can’t express that in enough seriousness. She is so happy and animated  She makes everyone else happy. She has my favorite laugh in the whole world, which is great because I get to hear it often.  Her hair is perfect. I covet it. She is the life of the party. She is always giving of her energy and love. She has an incredible family. She inspires me to find blissfulness in the little things life offers. She leads worship for a living and if you’ve never heard her voice before you are missing out. Its like honey. When all our dude friends lived in a big house together, Kim would come over and cook amazing Cuban food for all of us. I love that Kim shares my passion for Jesus, Team Peeta, dance parties and doughnuts (thus, the doughnut hole adorned with the birthday candle in the photo). I love that she isn’t afraid to get real and sassy. I love that she is a mentor to young women and is invested in their journeys. Kim, needless to say…you are incredible and I love you. Have the happiest of birthdays.