Freeeeee

So, I’m going to get kind of spiritual. If that’s not your thing…feel free to stop reading.

BUT something amazing happened to me and it can happen for other people too, so I think that’s the whole point of sharing.

I was at church and this woman prayed over me.

“At birth you were defined by joy. It was poured into you,” she said.

She took hold of my hand. My eyes met hers. Her gaze was confident and piercing, as if it were looking right through my soul. There’s only one other person I’ve met like this, and if you know the Rev Kev, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

“I think planted within you is truth. A desire for truth. To reflect truth. To bring truth. It’s who you are and what you do. But He gives you a gentleness and sweetness to bring it. It changes the very atmosphere.”

Woooah, lady. Way to make a girl awkwardly cry-laugh.

The incredible thing was she just stayed with me as I vomited out everything that was on my mind. She had no clue who I was. I just got here a few weeks ago. Yet, she was so…present. I found myself forgiving people for stuff I thought I was totally over. I was breaking off lies that I tell myself. There were moments where the weight of the burden or mourning was so heavy, I couldn’t even get words off my lips…but she’d hold my hand and led when I couldn’t. And this is what amazes me about faith. You can be in a place thousands of miles away from home, talking to someone you just met 1 minute ago, crying into their sweater about why your heart is broken, and they’re speaking these powerful words and it’s totally accepted because: Jesus.

And at the end, I had this huge sense of relief wash over me. I can’t even describe it. Well, maybe I can. It was like when you take the first gulp of air after you’ve been holding your breath under water. All of the guilt I had…gone. All of the disappointment…gone. All of the resentment…gone. All of the grief…gone. Images and memories that disturbed me…gone. It was as if my own identity of joy was restored. For the first time in my life I cried tears of bliss. Beautiful, unadulterated bliss.

You guys. I feel so f—ing free! So fresh. So clean. I can quote Outkast right now, right?

Hallelujah.

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

I knew it was coming. He’s so good, you guys. So good.

Love,
Taylor

Birthday Love

Happy Birthday to the beautiful Kim Hensley! Like seriously…look at that picture!! She is absolutely radiant. All. The. Time. Last night I had the privilege of celebrating the life of this lady. We went to see Peter Pan at The Des Moines Playhouse. We sat in the second row. We laughed, we believed in fairies, we ate ice cream sandwiches. It was fantastic. Everyone should go see it, especially if you have little ones. Then we cuddled up in my apartment for some fancy liquor our friend Emily brought home from Scotland and chatted late into the night.

Kim is someone who consistently oozes joy. I can’t express that in enough seriousness. She is so happy and animated  She makes everyone else happy. She has my favorite laugh in the whole world, which is great because I get to hear it often.  Her hair is perfect. I covet it. She is the life of the party. She is always giving of her energy and love. She has an incredible family. She inspires me to find blissfulness in the little things life offers. She leads worship for a living and if you’ve never heard her voice before you are missing out. Its like honey. When all our dude friends lived in a big house together, Kim would come over and cook amazing Cuban food for all of us. I love that Kim shares my passion for Jesus, Team Peeta, dance parties and doughnuts (thus, the doughnut hole adorned with the birthday candle in the photo). I love that she isn’t afraid to get real and sassy. I love that she is a mentor to young women and is invested in their journeys. Kim, needless to say…you are incredible and I love you. Have the happiest of birthdays.

Love,

Taylor

Happy

There I was standing in the kitchen washing dishes. Clayton was drying dishes and putting them back in their homes. Music was playing. We were half dancing to it and chiming in to the parts we knew. I was laughing about something and then I just was hit with a wave of happiness. I don’t know what induced it. But for whatever reason, in that moment I just felt happy.

And as I was reveling in that feeling, I thought…why don’t I just say it?

So I turned to Clayton and said,”Hey. I’m happy right now.” And it seemed like a weird thing to say in that way.

But then I thought of my little friend Henry (who is 2.5 years old) and how sometimes I’ll hear him say, “Guys, I happy! I happy now.”

It’s way cuter when he says it.

But I decided that I’m going try and be better at acknowledging when I feel happy or when someone makes me feel happy. I’m going to make an effort to pause and give those moments recognition. It is so easy for me to complain and to verbalize how tired, stressed, irritated, etc. I am. Why not do that when I’m having fun, enjoying who I’m with, where I am, or what I’m doing?

What made you happy today?

Love,

Taylor

Henry and I being happy