7 Things Sunday

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’ll be spending my Valentine’s Day at The Des Moines Catholic Worker House feeding lots of friends with lots of friends. They say the way to people’s hearts is through their bellies soooo, it’s perfect. And last night I spent Galentine’s Day eating sushi and listening to some killer comediennes at Des Moines Social Club’s Second Annual Galentine’s Day All-Lady Lineup with some gal pals.

I hope that today you’re all feeling the love.

It’s been ungodly cold lately. Seriously. And blustery. I yearn for green grass, porching, freckles, and mojito season so very much. It’s important to have an arsenal of weapons for banishing winter blues when you live in Iowa. Here’s a list of my personal favorites…

One. Flower power. Because when everything around me is cold and dead, I need something happy and living.

Two. Sweat. I started taking hot yoga classes and I think this may be the thing of all things that has helped me survive the wretched winter. There is something about being in a 90 degree room for an hour and coming out drenched in sweat that detoxes the mind and body. But feel the burn however you prefer. 

Three. Books on books on books. When going outside is terrible, stay inside and read.

Four. Tea Time. If there was anything I learned from spending last year in the UK, it is that there is a strongly held belief that a cup of tea solves every problem. So, I’ve stocked myself silly. If you’ve never been, you should pay Gong Fu in the East Village a visit! My latest favorite Gong Fu tea is Scartlet Ginger. I’m not a fruity tea fan, but the ginger offsets it and I’m hooked. Pictured below is Fredrich’s ‘Wellness’ tea, which is particularly excellent if you’re suffering from a cold. Or suffering from the cold. 

Five. Start a project. I don’t know about you, but winter always feels like an inappropriately long waiting period. As in, I’m just waiting for it to be over. Starting something new keeps me busy and distracted from point A to B. I’ve always wanted to experiment with gold leaf and so I began incorporating it into a new painting. Hurray.

Six. Socks that rock. Good socks are crucial to keep those toes warm and comfy. I’m a fan of Smartwool. Personally, I think they’re totally worth the expense, but I ask for them at Christmas. You can wear them days on days without a wash and they don’t get stinky. I don’t know how it works, but it does.

Seven. Snuggle. Get the oxytocin flowing. I’ve been snuggling up with the Burbanks on Sunday evenings to watch all the Oscar Best Picture nominees.  Complete with Kesslers + Coke, popcorn, and twinkle lights. I know The Revenant is incredible, but Room won me over. Go see it! Or read it. 

Love, 

Taylor

7 Things Sunday

7 things I’m trying to do:

One. Save $$$ for graduate school. If all goes as planned (which almost never happens in my life…so, we’ll see) I’ll be starting a MA in Arts, Festival, and Cultural Management in Scotland THIS September. I’m enrolled, I’ve applied for scholarships, I was accepted for student housing…now I just need to apply for a visa in June and hope they’ll take me. But there are all kinds of deposits involved and a lot to pay for in general. Plus, it would be nice to travel elsewhere if I have the time or resources. Wish me luck as I depart on a summer of bare necessities. Don’t ask me to eat out, plan a vacation or go shopping, people. If you have any personal tips or tricks on living the frugal life, please do share!

Two. Read more. I’m a go, go, go person. I like to pack my schedule with people to see and things to do. But lately I’ve been a book fiend. I couldn’t put down ‘The Circle’ by Dave Eggers, which is a thrilling/disturbing novel about a woman who works for the biggest, most influential internet company in the world. As her role there becomes more public and the company grows and implements new ideas, it raises big questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge. I also recently read two books by Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘The Thing Around Your Neck’, which is a collection of short stories that explores the “ties that bind men and women, parents and children, Africa and the United States”. And ‘Americanah’ which is a novel about a Nigerian couple who leave each other and their country to live separate lives in the West, but then they return to a very different Nigeria 15 years later and rediscover their homeland and each other. I loved and would highly recommend all of them. 

Three. Laugh every day. What is the most hilarious thing you’ve read, heard, or watched lately? I’d love to know because life is rough right now, friends. I need laughs. They say it’s the best medicine.

Four. Tell myself the truth. I lie to myself a lot. I think things that aren’t true, so then I feel things that aren’t true. And the media lies to us all the time, too. So that doesn’t help. I have found that when I’m on a slippery emotional slope or over analyzing something, I just start repeating truths to myself over and over again. Sometimes in my head, but it’s most helpful to say it out loud when I’m alone. I try to do it before I go to bed, when my mind is most susceptible to tired nonsense and unable to shut off.

Five. Meditate. I don’t know how people do it. I think shutting my mind off is unattainable. But I’ve been meditating on these words a lot:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not foresake them.” Isaiah 42:16

Six. Feel all the feels. Grieving is awkward. No one wants to do it. There’s no time for it. Everything in life is in motion, even if your insides are stuck in quick sand. When someone dies there’s time set aside for closure. There are days off work. Probably not enough, but there’s at least something. People come to you to. They say things like, “Take whatever time you need.” They bring you meals because they know you’ll be too sad to cook or feed yourself. No one says that when your marriage dies, but it’s just as life-altering. I’ve choked back tears in meetings, at the gym, talking with friends, ordering food (the most awkward one), etc. Break-downs are not becoming. No one wants to see that, right? But I’m trying not to suppress the feelings anymore. I’m not going to be embarrassed of them or feel pressured to always keep it together. I know that if I don’t grieve, I won’t be able to let go and if I can’t let go, I won’t experience healing. I’m going to stop telling everyone I’m doing well when I’m really not. I’m free to feel everything in its entirety: the emptiness, the fear, the hurt, because I know that I will survive and that the feelings will eventually pass. I know every day I can turn a little more over to Him. I know healing is a choice and it requires release.

Seven. Set more goals. My job now requires me to sit down with kids and figure out what their goals are and then follow up with them. If I’m going to make other people do it, I should probably do it myself. So, that’s sort of what this list is.

These are my confessions

I love to read and I am a very self-aware self-help reader. Not self-help books per se, but I read because it provides a certain therapy for me. I suppose I feel like I will find life’s answers hidden in an obscure book that I stumble upon. I’m a sucker for a good story, and if it happens to be a true one- even better. There is a quote from a memoir called Still by Lauren Winner that floored me when I first read it because it encompassed exactly how I feel,

“When something needs to be fixed, when I need something to change, my first and abiding instinct is to read. I think I can read my way to a solution Or at least an evasion.”

While I don’t believe this is inherently bad (it offers depth, perspective, leads to growth,etc.), reflecting on it has led me to the realization that I do a pretty horrible job of trusting myself. In light of some big life decisions I have ahead of me, I find that I keep inhaling books with other people’s thoughts, stories, insights, and opinions in order to form my own. I’m the girl who has documents on her computer saved with quotes and excerpts from books. I’m the girl who you’ll find sitting on the couch armed with highlighter and inkpen, ready to make her mark. I know that I must have my own gut and intuition but I become paralyzed at the thought of giving myself permission to accept that it is right or true. I am a chronic over analyzer. I must excessively research. I must calculate the best solution. I must learn from everyone else’s mistakes so I don’t make my own. I’m terrified of doing the wrong thing. This means I don’t take risks. I get comfortable living in a state of ambivalence. You get the picture.

I’m not sure that there is really a point to this. It’s more of a confession or a 20-something realization that will hopefully catapult me into becoming more self-assured, gutsy, and confident, with more fiction on my reading list.

Love,

Taylor