Freeeeee

So, I’m going to get kind of spiritual. If that’s not your thing…feel free to stop reading.

BUT something amazing happened to me and it can happen for other people too, so I think that’s the whole point of sharing.

I was at church and this woman prayed over me.

“At birth you were defined by joy. It was poured into you,” she said.

She took hold of my hand. My eyes met hers. Her gaze was confident and piercing, as if it were looking right through my soul. There’s only one other person I’ve met like this, and if you know the Rev Kev, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

“I think planted within you is truth. A desire for truth. To reflect truth. To bring truth. It’s who you are and what you do. But He gives you a gentleness and sweetness to bring it. It changes the very atmosphere.”

Woooah, lady. Way to make a girl awkwardly cry-laugh.

The incredible thing was she just stayed with me as I vomited out everything that was on my mind. She had no clue who I was. I just got here a few weeks ago. Yet, she was so…present. I found myself forgiving people for stuff I thought I was totally over. I was breaking off lies that I tell myself. There were moments where the weight of the burden or mourning was so heavy, I couldn’t even get words off my lips…but she’d hold my hand and led when I couldn’t. And this is what amazes me about faith. You can be in a place thousands of miles away from home, talking to someone you just met 1 minute ago, crying into their sweater about why your heart is broken, and they’re speaking these powerful words and it’s totally accepted because: Jesus.

And at the end, I had this huge sense of relief wash over me. I can’t even describe it. Well, maybe I can. It was like when you take the first gulp of air after you’ve been holding your breath under water. All of the guilt I had…gone. All of the disappointment…gone. All of the resentment…gone. All of the grief…gone. Images and memories that disturbed me…gone. It was as if my own identity of joy was restored. For the first time in my life I cried tears of bliss. Beautiful, unadulterated bliss.

You guys. I feel so f—ing free! So fresh. So clean. I can quote Outkast right now, right?

Hallelujah.

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

I knew it was coming. He’s so good, you guys. So good.

Love,
Taylor

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3 thoughts on “Freeeeee

  1. I was looking through photos from Sarah’s wedding today, and I had the strongest urge to know what you’re up to and how you’re doing. So happy I was able to find your blog again. Reading this post brought me to tears…at work! I’m waiting for my moment as well, and this sure does give me hope that it is just around the corner. Wishing you all the best!

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